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05 July 2009 @ 11:06 am
Little Brother Woes  
My brother last night calls my mom on our way home from Spirit of Kansas (the fireworks show at Shawnee Lake) asking her if she can take him to the hospital cause he broke his hand. He was drinking "everything" as he put it. And I am sure he didn't remember how he broke his hand. Mom says fine, that she will take him and then JJ tells Mom that he wants to talk to me. So then he asks me if I will take him. WTF? Mom had just told him that she was gonna take him.. so i told him "no".

He has the nerve to say to me " i guess that means you really don't care about me then" in all his drunken glory. What a complete asshole thing to say to the sister that will let you yell at her because you can't remember how you got punched in the face. Only that you did and it was on your way home. Yelling about it for almost 45 minutes. Saying over and over again " I got punched in the fucking face!"   Ya, right, I really don't care JJ.

I swear if JJ doesn't quit his crap, something bad is gonna happen to him and I just don't know if I will be able to handle it. I really don't know if Mom could handle it. He worries me soo much sometimes. And Mark didn't make it any easier, last night on our way home he told me " you know with that ulcer he has, if he keeps on doing what he is doing he is gonna kill himself."

Ya, I know. BELIEVE ME  I know. All I have to do is look at Uncle Dickey, or look at what happened to Bub. I know. But I can't think about it. I have to put it in a box and lock the key and put it in the farthest place possible in my mind.

I know Mark didn't mean anything by it, I know he didn't mean to make me cry. But I did cry last night cause I am tired of seeing JJ going down the road he is going. It hurts me everytime I have to hear from Mom or JJ that he hit his head on this or broke that cause he was drinking too much. I know the road he is going down is dangerous. And I worry about him.

I don't know. It sucks. I just wish he would straighten up. Everytime he seems to something always happens and he is back to where he began again. I love my little brother.