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12 August 2009 @ 06:11 pm
As Expected  
 So its day 1 without Mark, and its everything I thought it would be. It really isn't bad. I think the worst part for me is gonna be going to bed and not having him next to me. I feel safe when he is around. I just know I am gonna be a paranoid freak and turn the tv on, and leave it on all night. I can sleep in the quiet and dark when someone is in the house with me, but when I am alone I get these paranoid thoughts that someone is gonna break into the house and for some reason having the tv on might deter them.

Whatever, I know its stupid. But it makes me feel better, so I do it. What makes all this worse for me is the fact that before Mark left he came by work cause he needed some rechargable batteries.  He came by to say "hi" but didn't come back around to tell me bye. He called me on the phone at work to say "we're leaving town". WTF? To me thats kinda rude, mean, and hurtful towards me. So me being the person that I am, let him know it. He said he was really sorry, I know he probably is, now that he thought about it. But it still hurts. He told me he was gonna make it up to me for my birthday. We will see how that pans out. As it is right now, he has to work on my actual birthday.  

Ya know, it doesn't help things that I start my period Sunday. I get overly emotional about a week before, and during. So ya..not fun.

I think right now I am gonna go change and go exercise, get some of this emotional-ness out of me. gAh!